It just occurred to me that there are a ridiculous amount of guys that are single--either by choice, or unable to get rid of their virgin status.
What that also means is that there are ridiculous amounts of porn being watched on a daily basis (yay bandwith), a monumental amount of Vaseline being consumed on a daily basis (yay lubrication), and an astronomical number of children finding new homes in wrapped up tissues (yay Scotties!).
Here is my advice to all the bachelors out there (and in particular to all the virgins out there, because I know how much you love your porn): get a big monitor (or another one if you already have one), hook it up to your existing computer (so you have two); find a media player that supports polygamy, and open five billion different porno flicks at the same time. Then give second in command a good jerking.
It sounds silly doesn't it? Well just go try it and see if you won't thank me afterwards.
-vH
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